The biggest surprise of all was how much I learnt about myself in two days. Over the last two years I’ve had to really re-connect with my family as I went from a full time working mum in England, to a full time stay at home mum in Australia. It’s been amazing to really get to know my kids and to discover what their little personalities are all about. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not been an easy ride – some days I think they’ve almost driven me to drink, but on the whole it’s been so worth it for me as ‘mummy’. However, in the process I’ve somehow lost myself a little and have found myself sitting at a crossroad with almost no clue on the direction I’m heading. I mentioned this briefly the other day when I wrote how I became Mrs D plus 3.
I didn’t realise how lost I had become until I was forced to actually think about. My ticket to Problogger was booked at the very last minute, and with moving house just a couple of days before I left for the Gold Coast, I didn’t really have much time to prepare. So I found myself sat on an airport transfer bus on my way to this huge conference where there would be over 400 bloggers in once place with absolutely no idea what I wanted to get from it or why I was even going? So I pulled out my notebook (a cute kiki.K. that I bought especially) and wrote in bold letters:
‘WHAT AM I DOING HERE?’
I then scribble down the following list of questions that I was hoping to find the answers for.
* Am I a real blogger?
* Where do I fit into the blogging world
* Who is Mrs D
* Where do I see myself in the next 2-5 years – could this be a career or just a hobby?
* And a couple of other boring techie things like SEO, Migration to WordPress, Social Media etc that I though I ought to know in A LOT more detail, if I was going to have any chance at being a serious blogger.
So that was the extent of my preparation – done on a 45 minute bus journey (where I spent a lot of time looking out the window). So to say I felt nervous and under prepared was a bit of an understatement!! I also thought my questions were very ambiguous and I wasn’t really convinced that I’d find the answers (expect for the techie ones maybe – if the lectures didn’t go over my head).
Right from the opening talk by Darren Rowse of Problogger all those mediocre expectation were blown out the water, and those nervous butterflies that had taken residence in my tummy suddenly felt like fireworks of pure excitement. I felt as if he was addressing me personally, which was amazing as it made me realise that all my fears and anxieties were exactly the same as everyone else’s! Maybe I am a real blogger after all??
I could write SO much about what I leant but to keep this post to a reasonable length (I don’t want to be putting anyone to sleep), I’m just going to share a few small moments that resonated hugely with me.
CHANGE by Tsh founder of Simple Mom
I’ve already had such a huge change in my life recently that I wanted take the reins back and hopefully figure out who I am now.
Sitting on that bus made me acutely aware of how I needed to move with the changes around me and listening to Tsh made me realise that it’s actually ok to change. Change in both personality and life can be a good thing. She told us that in order to change our direction in life we needed to go right back to basics and figure out what we are most passionate about it. I needed to figure out what my strengths are and what MY personality traits are. She even suggested taking an online personality test – which I still might do.
I realised that I am Mrs D and that I need to make my online and offline personalities match in order to be honest and real.