I’m not really sure where this post is going or what my point is, but I felt I just need to write. There’s been a lot of talk flying around the internet at the moment saying that personal blogging is dead. That’s a little hard to digest for me seeing as my blog is almost entirely personal. It’s got me thinking though, about why I write, why I started writing and where I’m headed? The peas rattling around in my head have given some some very restless nights of late.
I started writing my blog before I really even knew what blog was, as a way of communicating to my friends and family in the UK when we moved to Sydney. It was just a series of random stories really, about how we were doing and what I was feeling. After a while I started to grow a readership and my writing style changed. I started writing more about what I thought people would like to read, than what I actually wanted to write about.
I’m in a constant struggle about how much of myself and my family I should put on the internet and how much I should keep to myself. All my stories are honest and real, but there is definitely more of a ‘vanilla’ tone to them now than there used to be. I’ve some how found myself with a front row seat on the fence, not really knowing which side of it I want to be on and quite frankly, I think I’ve become a bit boring.
So where am I going with this blog, what do I want from it and what do my readers want? The more I think about it, the more I realise that the struggle with my blog content directly mirrors that battle I have with myself, about the direction my life is headed in. For the past four years I’ve been a stay at home mum, and although I have battled with the loneliness and boredom of it on many an occasion, I have actually come to love it. Weirdly enough, this is where my conflict lies. I feel that I have an obligation to be more than this. I shouldn’t be happy with it, yet I am. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Does that mean I’ve sold out? Have I lost my passion and drive in life?
For a long time I’ve been ashamed of saying what I am and what I do, so I’ve always resorted to saying ‘what I used to do’. Hinting that I’m kind of treading water right now, until I ‘become something again’. The thing is, I have no idea what that is? Well I thought I didn’t, but actually it’s been staring me in the face all this time. If I’m the happiest I’ve ever been then why am I treading water? What’s wrong with being a full time mum and a blogger? I couldn’t stop writing even if I wanted to because I love it, pure and simple. I may not be the best writer out there but writing makes me happy and I’m going to take that as a win.
So is personal blogging dead? Maybe it is maybe it, maybe it isn’t but who cares really. All I know is that I’m going to keep going because I like it. Hopeful I can make some money from all my hard work, but either way the stories in my head still need to be written and I get great satisfaction from writing them. As for the vanilla, I still need to work on that. If I can open up in public about being a complete nutcase during my days with post natal depression then I think I can start to be a bit more open about the boring as shit days of being a stay at home mum as well all the moments that make my heart want to burst (as well as pretty much everything in between).
So at long last, I think I am going to jump off the fence. You may want to follow along with me and I will love you for that, or you may want to unsubscribe now, and I’ll love you for that too. Either way I’m going to write (and cook, because that’s something I do now).
Do you think my blog has become a bit vanilla – don’t be shy, I can take it?
Do you think personal blogging is dead?
What are your thoughts on earning money from a blog?
41 comments on “Personal blogging – it’s a battle in my own head”
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I’ve come to believe that when we look back, this will be the sweet spot of our lives too Robyn. Make no apologies for being happy. I, for one, are thrilled that you are. xx
Thanks love, that means a lot. I think publicly making peace with my own rambling thoughts has helped heaps. I think it will be the sweet stuff indeed – you’re totally right xxx
Are you reading my mind, Robyn? I feel just the same way about life and blogging in general. I don’t know what I want to do but I do know that I’m happy where I am and that’s quite enough to be going on with. I’m happy that you’re happy too!
I’m happy that you’re happy too. It’s funny how we strive so much to ‘be something’ but when we actually are, we worry it’s not enough. I think we need to have a lunch soon. How does shelly beach in Manly suit you??
Great post .. And no it’s not dead .. Personal is what makes your blog so great !! ❤️️❤️️ Keep doing what you do .. It’s more than enough .
Thanks Bel, that means a lot. Thanks for the coffee this morning too – I owe you one xxxxx
Hi Mrs D ?
I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and I really enjoy it! Just wanting to give you some encouragement as I know what it feels like to be a stay at home mum who somehow feels it’s not enough, despite the fact I think staying home to raise my children is the most important job I could do! I love your honesty and really enjoy your personal stories, the recipes (especially the thermo ones) and also the parenting related articles! Keep up the great work and I see absolutely nothing wrong with making some money off your blog! As long as you can remain true to your values and beliefs make some $$$ I say.
Keep up the great work!
Kel
Kelly I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your encouragement. Thanks so much. It’s funny how we all end up worrying about such similar things. I’m glad you like my recipes as I’m really have fun at the moment creating a recipe book – so far I have 75 recipes in there – eeek. Have a lovely week and thanks so much again for your comment xxxx
I don’t think it’s dead because we all love stories and sharing them comes naturally to us. The issue of how much to write about the families is a big one… and I do protect my older boys… but we can write about ourselves and what’s going on and where we are at.
Nothing would make me more miserable than going to work in an office or anywhere indoors 5 days a week. I love being my own boss and am lucky that I’m not under big pressure to earn a lot of money (very lucky that.)
I’ve often felt that I could really excel at something and I’d love to, but family life is so demanding and I rarely get to really focus for long. Then I realised that I could excel… at what I do the most, which is to be mother to the four tearaways. I can excel at that and it’s where I’m most needed. By excel, I mean turn up every day and be cheerful and kind as much as is humanly possible. I’m slack at the moment as cook, cleaner etc but I enjoy being with the kids and I know they want me around …Sorry to rant, you’ve touched a nerve.
Don’t be sorry, I love a rant and I think we all need to have them (keeps our sanity in check, lol). I don’t think we give ourselves enough credit for what we do as mums and we certainly can’t rely on the kids to give us any (well not a least until they’re grown up anyway).
You are so right about being your own boss. I would be stupid to say that I wasn’t lucky or that I didn’t enjoy it. I don’t think I’d cope very well going into an office anymore. xxxxxx
I love vanilla!!! It’s trustworthy, reliable & perfect……just like your blogs.
You have a very special talent, I’d kill to be able to write from the heart like you do. And, your certainly not boring, infact your blogs kept me well entertained whilst I was having chemo last year, don’t ever stop!! Xx
Cristy that has just put the biggest smile on my face ever!! Just for you, I promise I’ll never stop. Rob xxx P.S. I am SO happy that you kicked cancer’s butt!!!! xx
I was a full time Mum for 8 years and worried about all those things you mention in terms of feeling like I should want more or be doing more and I used to joke that I had no career libido anymore. I am now back in the workforce part time and it feels like yesterday I left! In hindsight I should never have given full time motherhood a second thought and never have been concerned that I wasn’t productive enough or achieved enough. I was present and available and that should have been enough to classify myself as a success. There is a season in life for most things and enjoy this season while it lasts! I love being back in the workforce now but I don’t regret my mothering season one tiny bit!
isn’t hindsight a wonderful thing Ruth. It’s like having your second baby first – that way you don’t have to have all those naive baby struggles that you don’t have the second time around. Hahaha, hopefully you know what I mean. I love your ideas of seasons, though – so true. It’s lovely to hear that you’re happy back at work again xx
Robyn
I love love love reading your blog and what you write. It is great reading something written by someone else that can mirror other people’s lives so closely. It’s great seeing your pictures and how life is on Australia especially compared to a miserable wet day in the UK. Your blog always makes me smile!! Your writing skills are clearly worth sharing with the rest of us… Keep it going x
Oh thank Charlotte, that really means so much. I love seeing all your photos on Facebook too and you have two of the most gorgeous little girls xx
I went to Problogger last year and as much as I enjoyed myself, I found out that I was too vanilla or bland as well. I am not opinionated enough, I don’t blog about my kids -so how are my readers supposed to connect with me? Businesses who use my freelance writing skills may be put off my the personal stuff on my blog, so I should be writing about more SEO/blogging corporate writing tips. I have been so confused and lost about my blog for the past year. But I didn’t want to quit blogging.
Then earlier this year, one of my new kindy mum friends found out I blogged. She now one of my biggest fans and is always at me to keep writing. A cousin found out I blogged and she gave me lovely feedback which gave me such a boost. Which is kind of the point. Blogging is about connecting. And they both like my words & blog just as it is. I figure I am never going to be a huge blogger but I love writing. So I write. So back to you. Forget about the rules Robyn. Just keep writing. Vanilla is the flavour on which all flavoured ice-creams are based on. The original deal. I think you are doing just fine as you are.
Thank you so much Lisa and for what it’s worth I think you are anything but vanilla. I wonder if perhaps we are listening to too many “problogger’ type advice and that’s what gives us the wobbles. You’re so right about forgetting the rules and just doing our own thing. xxx
You’ve captured my thoughts here Robyn. I too have been having this internal battle about why I blog and what I want my blog to be. And all I’ve come up with is because I love it and we should do the things we love!
Yay to you for jumping off the fence… looking forward to following along! Xx
I think you’ve come up with the perfect answer!! It’s so comforting to know that there are so many of us bloggers in a similar boat. I think we should just stick to being honest. Well that’s what I’m going to do anyway x
Great post Rob. You are the one that got me reading blogs and I love your blog because it resonates with where I am at. I think the honesty is why it’s so successful. It’s what we are all think about motherhood. Follow you heart, enjoy it and it will be fantastic!
Thanks Nicky. I’m glad I got you hooked on blogs. There are so many awesome ones out there that I have forgotten the last time I read an actual book :)) x
It’s so timely that you’d write this. I’m struggling with this concept too. Whether doing something to make an income and because I enjoy it is “enough”. I think it springs from having had a job in my past life where I truly made a meaningful and tangible difference to people and now feeling like the difference that I make to my readers doesn’t really carry the same value. Arrg, I don’t even know where I’m going with this but I guess I’m just saying that I feel you. xx
I read all your blog posts and I think you should know that you really do make a real, tangible difference xxxx
Robyn I love this! I hear you- sometimes I struggle with the fact that I’m vanilla online too. I don’t put a lot of my own opinions into my blog and sometimes I think I should- but then I worry the readers aren’t there to hear my rantings on how we treat refugees etc because that’s not what my blog is about. Then I’m torn between by blog and my job that I love! It’s a tough one. But keep blogging- we love you xx
Thanks love. I have to say I love all your rants on Facebook, I’m ALWAYS drawn to them, so you totally should put them in your blog too. I honestly think that sometimes we worry too much. I think we should just picture our readers all sitting in their undies, lol. Isn;t that what you’re supposed to do when you’re nervous about talking to an audience?? xx
As much as the whole ‘personal blogging is dead’ discussion out of Problogger has been a downer, I think it has helped lots of people clarify what is important for them with their blogs and in their lives – I’m in that process too. Glad you were inspired into thinking more deeply and came up feeling happy.
That’s a really positive way of looking at it Kathy. Good luck with your journey too xx
This is a bit like how I was feeling at the end of last year. For me, being a SAHM doesn’t make me happy. Sure I love being with my girls and spending time with them, but I go crazy being in the house all day every day with small people and my happiness and the happiness of the girls was really suffering. Having said that, I didn’t want to go back to full-time work in an office because that doesn’t make me happy either. What I wanted to do was pursue my passion and I’m really glad I worked up the courage to go to Tafe and do just that. It’s made me happier than I ever thought it could and I’m so grateful.
When it comes to blogging, I know exactly what you mean about losing that reason why you started blogging. I really felt last year that I needed to shift back closer to the reasons why i started blogging in the first place and slowly I’ve been doing that. It probably makes my blog pretty boring to most people now, but I’m happy and that’s all that matters I think. I started it for me, and if I’m happy then that’s ok. I don’t think your blog is boring at all, and I have to apologise for not having had a lot of time to stop by and visit, and especially comment. Tafe is an all-consuming thing at the moment (especially this term with 20+ hours on campus not to mention all the time to study and work on assessments at home!) and when it’s combined with a young family, it leaves not much time for anything else, especially blogging. I don’t think personal blogging is dead though, those are still the majority of blogs that I read simply because I’m a sticky beak and I love hearing about people’s lives and building real connections with the people who write the personal blogs.
And my dear, you are anything but vanilla!
Hun this post is a perfect example of how you are NOT vanilla. I have felt the same way lately, In fact I think many of us have and for me the answer lies in writing about what I want and when I want and forgetting all the how to and should do rules! xx
Thanks lovely. Maybe I should take a leaf out of my three year old’s book. She knows EXACTLY how to forget all the rules! lol xx
I think in many ways we women have lost our way: that old ‘have it all’ chestnut that we were raised with has really fucked our heads up. I take on board the way Gen Y and Millennials seem to live their lives – just as themselves without question. We need more of that. If mothering is fulfilling you right now then simply be in the now. Lap it up and be grateful for this wonderful opportunity. You don’t have to ‘be something’ because you are already something: you are you. And as for personal bloggin – never dead. I think people have forgotten that monetisation is just part of blogging, not blogging itself. I actually think personal blogging will become more and more popular. Keep writing and be open – that’s all we can ever do. x
I’ve just found your blog through Life, Love and Hiccups. What a perfect post for me to stumble upon. I too am a stay at home Mum and sometimes I feel guilty for saying it because I feel like society thinks we should be more. My philosophy is that if you’re happy and your family is happy then you’re doing the right thing no matter what else anyone might think. As for personal blogging. I have a lifestyle blog with an ok readership but it’s no where near as popular as others. I beat myself up about it all the time and somedays I want to quit but then I think that I like to share my thoughts, pretty things etc so I’ll just keep on going. We don’t have to be the best to enjoy what we do.
Hey Sarah, thanks so much for popping by. (I’ll have to thank Sonia later). I must admit I do love your philosophy, I think it’s a great one and I’ll be adopting it for sure. I do wonder society expects so much more from us as stay at home mums – or is it just the pressure we put on ourselves??
I’m looking forward to visiting your blog too x
I have just read the above comments, and had a wee cry. You are much loved and needed. I know I send you a message after I read this but please know that I adore every word you write my lovely xxx
Em you are just one of the most specialist people I know. Thank you sweetie and don’t you stop either because I will have nothing to read with my cup of tea every day. Plus I would miss you terribly xx
I think personal posts are the most interesting and relatable to be honest ! I love sneaking a glimpse in to peoples lives. I write about a bit of everything from food to fashion to lifestyle with the odd personal post thrown in and I actually find my personal rants and thoughts get the most traffic and interaction! At the end of the day keep doing what you’re doing, as long as it makes you happy!
I think you’re right Em. I write a bit of this and a bit of that too and I’ve totally overwhelmed with al the responses I’ve had on this post. I think it’s telling me something for sure. Thanks so much again for reading xx
No, personal blogging is not dead and never will be. Your mood is exactly why I won’t set foot in a ProBlogger event. Who needs the added insecurity? Keep doing what you’re doing. Forget about the worry and just keep blogging. X
Thanks Jody, I’ve decided that is exactly what I’m going to do. I hope everyone else does too :))
The whole reason I love reading blogs (including yours!) is for the personal element. The decision must ultimately be your own but the are countless times when it has helped me no end to hear your personal, honest and funny nature, vanilla is just not you! 😉 as a sufferer of depression myself I would love to hear the stories of PND and basically the frank elements of life. Keep it up you’re doing amazing job, I’m a big fan xx